Monday, September 10, 2012

The rental property tour from hell...

I am WAY behind on this blog. I dont tend to neglect it forever but the 2 children's birthdays, week long epic family vacation, Hannah starting kindergarten and soccer, Chris switching jobs, getting ready to put the house on the market... it is all waiting for me to catch up on. But I had to document this evening.

We had been eyeing this rental in our area and I was thinking about calling on it. I recognized the street name and I emailed a friend who lived on the cul-da-sac and I knew she loved it. She pained pictures of hopscotch and rainbows. Kids of all ages playing happily in the street while the dads shot baskets and the moms sat on their lawns sipping lemonade. Fresh canned goods and hand knit scarves. (I am serious!!... Jenn... back me up)

So I call the lady listed on the ad through the rental agency. She asked me over the phone who exactly would be living in the house. I told her my family - me and my husband and 2 kids. She asked how old the kids are and their genders. Said that she must meet every person that is going to live in the house so we had to bring them to tour the house. Seemed odd but it was a great price and the kitchen boasted tons of storage!

So we set up the time to meet at 6:30. We eat dinner early and I wash the kids up and we head over. I had been telling the kids they  needed to behave and be mellow and not run around, etc. We get there and other than the driveway there wasn't a ton of parking. Chris parks in this little space directly in front of the house. Directly in front of a fire hydrant. He thought it was ok since the curb was not red. I was just trying to rush Hannah while she packed up her toys and put on her flip flops without getting inpatient as Zach is charging towards the door.

The lady greets us at the door and shows us around. The house is empty and of course a big empty house is just asking for kids to run wild. They shouldn't. But they see the open space and just go a little nuts. So they check everything out. The lady showing us the place is really intense. And not at all easy to talk to. So we look around and we end up in the kitchen. I am chasing the kids. Hannah has to go to the bathroom. We look in both of them and there is no toilet paper. She says she just has to go pee so I told her to just air dry and come out. A few minutes later I go to check on her. Of course she had pooped. And was putting her clothes back on. We go to flush. Of course they didn't have the water on so it didn't flush. So I go out and tell the lady who said it was fine.

While I was gone she was asking Chris what we did. The names of the company we worked for? What school the kids went to? Where did the kids go when we were at work? Etc Etc Etc

So as I join in the conversation Hannah wanders through the living room to the front room and she was sitting on the front window behind the sheer curtains. All of a sudden... BAM! The tension rod holding another curtain comes crashing down in the window. At the same time, Zach is hiding in the coat closet and wont come out.

So in order to get out the door I asked what the process was if we wanted to apply. She gave me a 4 page application, one of the pages you had to put your bank account information and get it signed off by the bank. She said to call her when it was ready she would come to our house to pick it up.

Yes. I am serious.

So then we go to leave and she is walking us out the door and Chris says "so... exactly what is the rule with the fire hydrant? Can we park there since it is not red?" and she says ""NO. Actually, it is a ticket able offense!". He apologizes. We leave.

And no... we will not be completing that application!

1 comment:

Mandyland said...

If she was weirded out, then you are better off - no matter how nice the house is.

When I brought the kids over here to check this place out, they went a little nuts, jumping off the bench of the deck, running through the rooms. I apologized to the landlord and he shrugged and said, "They're kids." I knew he'd be a good fit for us.

You'll find your perfect fit.

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