I didn't write this, but I wish I had, every single word describes my feelings.....................
Why Does It Sting?
By Tammy Zhe, November 20, 2000
Why does it sting so much? Bring tears to my eyes? Make my blood run cold? Why? Why is it when I see the word retarded used as a slur, does my heart tighten and I find it hard to breathe? Why? Because every time it is used incorrectly, it is one step back for MY child. For my sweet little three year old boy who has yet to experience the insensitivites of the general public. Some day he will become aware of others prejudices. Until that day becomes reality, I will fight tooth and nail to give him the equal chances and opportunities that every other child is freely given.
Even when the word is used as a term to describe yourself, in first person terms, it is wrong. Why? Because you are using it as a put down. Have you ever heard someone call themselves retarded as a positive term? Nope, didn't think so. I know that there are some out there whining about how politically correct the world has become.....let me ask you this... What if it was YOUR child? All I want is what is best for my child, and if that includes expecting appropriate language from others, then so be it. Is it THAT hard? To quote a good friend "Sure there are ways that that word could be used and not meant badly but we have sooo many other choices of words, it isn't needed."
For me, the inappropriate use of the word retard (in any of it's forms) is the same as using the slur nigger, spic, gook, etc. It is WRONG and derogatory. If you cannot be more creative and use an appropriate word, then perhaps you should keep your mouth shut. It is astounding to me the lengths some will go to in order to explain away what they have said, no matter how unintending they may have been.
Simply having someone in your family, a brother, sister, uncle, aunt, cousin, niece, nephew, etc DOES NOT give you latitude to abuse it inappropriately. And until it is *YOUR* child, your pure flesh and blood, someone that you gave birth too, you will never quite understand the implications or your words and how they can hurt others.
And before you step up to the plate and decide that I am overreacting, think about it some more. What if it was your child that became disabled and retarded in some way? A birthing accident? A car accident that takes away most of your mental capabilities? Or any other of the unending list of things that can hurt us? What if it were YOUR child???
Yes, words hurt. They sting hard and they sting sharply. There is an old adage "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me." Unfortunately it is wrong. This DOES hurt me. It hurts my son. It hurts the way that he will be seen in society. It hurts his chances of being fully accepted as a person, as a human being, and until you can see how and why your words carry so much weight, the words that you take so lightly, you will continue to hurt others. And as long as that group of "others" includes my son, I WILL fight for him, I WILL take offensive to your hurtful words, I WILL be angry at your use of them.
