Zachary's Birth Story

Lately I have been wanting to put my memories of Zachary's Birth on "paper", so that the memories are documented somewhere forever, other than my mind. 4 years have gone by and I don't want to forget anything from that joyous time.


My due date for Zachary was originally June 20th. When I switched OB's at the beginning of my pregnancy, she changed it to June 19th according to her calendar. I always used June 20th because that year, June 20th was Fathers Day and that was just cool to me. It dawned on me recently that being that 2004 was a Leap Year, that is probably why the day was off one day.

I was convinced that Zach would come late. After all, all first baby's come late right? He always measured a couple weeks behind as well. I stopped working sometime in late May, more out of laziness than necessity. I had everything washed and ready to go. His room was perfect. All his clothes were organized and clean as can be. I read all the books. I never touched coffee, or any of the other horrid things they tell you to stay away from when you are pregnant.

We went to the childbirth preparation classes at the hospital I was going to deliver at. We didn't pay attention as much as we probably should have. Part of my Birth Plan was that I was going to get the epidural. I said I would try for natural, but deep down, I knew I would get it.

Thursday June 10th I started having contractions. They weren't too intense or regular, but continued over the next couple days. Saturday morning (June 12th) I woke up around 1 or 2am and sat up. I thought I was going to either throw up or pass out. Everything was spinning. I woke Chris up. He was concerned. Asked if we should go to the hospital. We called the on call doctor at my OB. I told her I had been having contractions for a couple days and how I was feeling.She told me that I was just reacting to the pain of the contractions and it was nothing to worry about. To come to the hospital if the contractions get at least 1 minute long and 3-4 minutes apart. I went back to bed. It wasn't easy. Every time I put my head down on the pillow or turned to the side, everything spun.

The next morning we got up early because Chris had a soccer tournament up in San Francisco. He had been looking forward to this tourney for months. He told me he wasn't going to go. I told him he was. I was fine and he should go. He got ready. I went downstairs to the couch where I planned to spend my day. Everything was still spinning. Chris went and told our neighbor what was going on with me and that if I had any problems, I may come over. She was having a garage sale and would be outside all day anyway. I called my mom who starting packing her bag to come up. She was convinced it was almost time. My grandmother came by to check on me and we sat and talked. I was still having contractions, but no better or worse than they were on Thursday. My mom arrived Sunday.

Monday morning, June 14th, my mom came over after Chris had gone to work. All I really wanted to do was lay around but she made me get up and shower and go out with her. We went and had breakfast. The contractions were getting worse. After breakfast, we went to the store. My mom stocked our freezer full of meals while I was in the hospital, so we were getting all the food for her to cook. At the store, I was having to stop and really breathe through the contractions. We got home and I finally started timing them. Chris got home from work about 5:30pm and when he walked in the door my mom said "We're having a baby tonight!". We both kind of rolled our eyes at her. I was still convinced Zach would be late and we still had 5 days til his due date! We ate a huge dinner. Steak and baked potato. My mom went back to my grandmothers for the night. Chris and I went for a walk. I was stopping every couple minutes for contractions, but still nothing that I felt alarmed about.

We were sitting on the couch and about 9:30 I started crying a little bit. The pain was bad. Chris said "let's go, we are going to the hospital"... I said "no"... in my head, this couldn't be real labor, yes it was painful, but it had to get worse than this. And, we had been timing and recording my contractions for hours and they never got to where they needed to be. One would be 90 seconds long, the next would be 30 seconds long. One would be 1 minute apart, the next would be 5 minutes apart. They weren't as consistent as they said in the class! In my head, I didn't want to go spend hours at the hospital getting checked and monitored, just to be sent home and then Chris would be tired the next day. About 9:45pm I had to go pee. When I wiped, there was a little bit of pink on the toilet paper so I thought maybe we should head to the hospital. I finished packing my bag and we hopped in the car. We had a nice drive over. We joked about how they were going to either send us home, or hook me up to pitocin to speed things up. I called my mom as we were driving over. Told her I would update her but that it probably wouldn't happen tonight.

We got to the hospital at about 10:45pm on Monday night. Went to the desk and told them I was in labor. They got me in a room and checked me. The nurse said I was 5-6cm. But she wasn't positive so she had another nurse check who said I was 6-7cm. I told them I wanted to put my order in for an epidural right then. Lucky for me, it was shift change, so yet another nurse sticks her hand up there. She also agrees with the 6-7cm estimation. We call my mom and tell her to come. It was going to happen tonight. The pain was getting really bad and the contractions were really close together. Probably around 11:30 or so my doctor broke my water. Then they were really bad. The nurse told me there was an emergency so the anesthesiologist had to go there first and would come to me next. I was screaming and crying. Chris told me to concentrate on my breathing like we learned in the classes. I told him that "the f*#$ing breathing didn't work"!! Everything was still spinning if I put my head on the pillow or turned my head to either side.

Jesse James was on Jay Leno.

The nurse came in again and I asked her where the drugs were, she said he would be there as soon as he could. I told her to promise me that I would get it. She promised. Around 12:30am the anesthesiologist finally showed up. Chris said he was going to get my bag out of the car, he was not going to watch them put a needle in my back. The drug guy asked how far along I was. They checked me. She told him 10cm. He picked up his stuff and said he wasn't doing it. My nurse looked at him and said "you don't understand, yes you are". They made me sit on the side of the bed and push out my back. I asked if I could lay down while they did it. The contractions hurt too bad to sit that way. He said No. I sat up. He wiped my back down and I felt the urge to push and I told him to just go away. Chris came back and I was in pushing position. Told him I couldn't get it. I pushed a couple times and they saw the head. The doctor wasn't there yet so they told me to stop pushing. "Are you f*#$ing kidding me? Stop pushing?" They held my legs down so I couldn't push. A couple minutes later and the doctor was there. I don't remember how many pushes it took, but I would bet it was less than 10. I wanted to feel his head as he was crowning, just like all the moms did on "A Baby Story" that I watched way too much of while I was pregnant. Everyone in the room freaked out when I reached down there. They (especially my mom) seriously thought I was going to try and rip him out. To this day that is what she thinks.

At 1:18am on Tuesday June 15th my baby boy had arrived. He was a perfect 7 pounds 9 ounces, 20 1/2 inches long. They lied him on my chest for a minute and then took him over to the warmer. I think I heard the nurse say his Apgars were 8 and 9, but I honestly don't remember. Chris went over with him and watched all the fun cleaning stuff. He still vividly remembers them sticking a tube into his lungs and suctioning things out. I am glad I didn't see that. We got to hold him for awhile in our room and take pictures and then they took him to the nursery. Proud daddy never left his side. They did his bath and foot prick and all that other right out of the womb stuff.

Once they brought him back in to me it was probably 4am. Chris fell asleep on the pull out chair. I just sat and looked at him and talked to him. We tried to nurse but we just couldn't get it. I told him we would try again later. He lifted his eye brows at me, as if to say "ok mama". He was asleep. I just stared at him. I remember thinking his eyes looked funny. I figured I just didn't know much about newborns and they all looked that way. I slept for a little while with him in my arms.

The day was beautiful. We had lots of visitors. Everyone oooh'ed and aaah'ed over him. I was in no rush to go home. Tuesday night he stayed in our room with us. Wednesday morning they thought he looked a little jaundice and they were going to put him under the bili lights. I was upset, but they assured me it happened all the time. Wednesday morning he also had his circumcision. His pediatrician came in and told us he did great, slept through the whole thing. I still had the spins and finally a doctor said it was likely that I had Vertigo and he gave me some nasal spray. It didn't help and didn't go away for about 2 weeks, but it didn't much matter anymore. Late Wednesday evening they told me that the jaundice was getting worse and they wanted to keep him under the lights overnight in the nursery. I was distraught. I couldn't believe that something could be wrong with my baby and he had to stay the night away from me. I cried. A lot. My mom and grandmother were there and told me it was going to be ok and that it happened all the time. We tried in the nursery to nurse and we still had no luck. They had me pump. The nurses couldn't believe how much milk I had. At least he was going to be able to drink my milk.

Thursday morning, after his pediatrician did her rounds and checked on him in the nursery, she came in to talk to us. She said his circumcision looked great and was healing nicely. She said that his jaundice was not improving, but not worse. She said she heard a slight heart murmur and was having the pediatric cardiologist come see him later that day. As she walked out the door to leave, she said "we are also running some tests because we have noticed some features..." With that, she was out the door. EXCUSE ME??? We yelled after her. She came back in. "Features of what?" "Down syndrome...... a social worker will be coming to talk to you" "What features?" From what I remember (at this point I had gone partially deaf and completely numb) she told us he had features such as the heart murmur and Asian looking eyes and since neither of us are Asian, it was cause for concern. With that, she was gone.

I cried. I just wanted to go to the nursery and see my baby. My precious baby that this crazy woman was saying these cruel and obviously wrong things about. I had to go see him. He was perfect, how could they think anything other than that?

I remember saying that I did everything right, which I had. In my head, I thought it was impossible and she had to be wrong. After all, my tests all came back "normal". I felt guilty for possibly giving my husband this damaged child. I thought he would hate me for doing this. I apologized. I said that I would go through that painful labor 10 times over just to take this away.

I have never said this out loud to anyone, but I remember thinking 'what would happen if I just walked out of here and never looked back, would people just forget that I was ever pregnant, could I ever forget'. That feeling lasted maybe 3 seconds. It was never possible, but something that did cross my mind.

Zach got to come into our room for awhile before going back under the lights in the NICU. While he was in there, my OB came by to check up on me. I was still crying. I told him what they told us. He looked Zach over and said there was no way he had Down syndrome. He looked for the Simian crease , which Zach does not have. He looked for a few other things too. I valued his opinion, after all, he had been delivering babies for probably close to 40 years. He would know right?!

They told us that it could take 2 weeks to get the chromosomal testing back. The head doctor of the NICU called in a favor at Stanford to get preliminary results as quickly as possible.

Because I was being discharged on Thursday, they had to move him to the NICU. I guess a baby can't stay in the nursery after the mom is discharged. The wonderful nurses let me stay in my room until late Thursday night. It wasn't busy and my insurance pays for 2 days.

We met with the cardiologist who pointed out more features. Every one of them I had an excuse for. Heart murmur, Chris has a heart murmur. Sandal gap, Chris must have weird toes. Slanted eyes, Chris has fairly small eyes. This brilliant gentle man pointed out imperfection after imperfection and I fired back with excuses. After the cardiologist was done examing Zach with his portable ultrasound machine, he talked to us for awhile. To be honest, I don't remember much of anything he said. I was in such a fog by that point.

The nurses in the NICU told us there was a parent room that we could stay in that night since I was being discharged. We went back and cleaned up our room and I was discharged. We had decided we would run home, shower, eat dinner, get some clothes and come back for the night. They put me in the wheelchair and had to wheel me out of the hospital. Without my baby. I sobbed the whole time. That was the most painful thing I had felt. The pain of labor didn't even stand a chance against the pain I felt in my heart. I felt like a failure. I felt incomplete. I felt empty.

We came back to the hospital and sat with him. We couldn't hold him too much, only for feedings. He had to stay under the lights. We did his feedings every 3 hours. I pumped every 3 hours. We changed his diapers through the holes of the incubator. That took some getting used to. We slept on pull out chairs in the parent room. Try that after giving birth!

Friday was about the same. Feeding and pumping. Stayed in the parent room.

Saturday morning Chris' dad and step mother arrived. We were all in the parent room when they called us into the NICU. The doctor told us what I think we already knew at that point. His tests were back. He does have an extra chromosome. I remember her saying that if you were going to have a child with a disability, this is the one you want. There is so much they can do, but he will never play any kind of contact sport. That was all I heard her say.

We walked out of the NICU doors and instantly embraced each other and just sobbed. For a long time.

At that point, we just wanted to take our son home. We had been waiting on blood tests to see if his jaundice levels were good enough and lucky for us, they were. Saturday afternoon we finally got to pack him up and take him home, on his due date. We spent our first night at home, as a family. We woke up the next morning and Chris got to spend his first Fathers Day home with his son.



Zach in the NICU with his shades on:

Hannah's Birth Story

Hannah is 3 weeks old today and I decided it is finally time to post the birth story before I forget all those fun details. The picture above was taken this afternoon.

At my last OB checkup (3 days before my due date) we decided to schedule an induction. I was getting horribly uncomfortable and she was not making any progress. Dr. Hirsch said he would call the hospital and see what times they had available and they would let me know that afternoon. When I was talking to the front desk and checking out, the lady told me that because of my insurance I could only deliver at French Hospital. For many reasons I had been planning on delivering at Sierra Vista, the biggest reason being that they are the only hospital in the area with a NICU. We never toured French, knew nothing about it, so needless to say, I was stressed. And to top it off, they said that French was full and couldn't take anyone anyway. I was in tears. After talking to the insurance company and understanding why I had to go to French, I was ok with it.

I got the call that afternoon that they would induce me on Tuesday, September 11 (my due date) at 8pm. They said to get there at 6:30 to pre-register and then the induction will start at 8. So we got Zach all fed and got Grampa Buck organized to care for Zach for the next couple days and we headed to the hospital. When we got there they said that I was all registered (I guess by the doctor's office) and I could just head to the Birthing Center. The nurse was a bit surprised to see us so early but got us in a room. We were pretty happy that we got stuck at French, it was a really nice facility!

The nurse said that she was going to call my doctor and get his orders, but she wanted to check me first to let him know where I was at. She checked me and I was at 3cm. After calling him he said to wait until 4am to start pitocin to see how I progress on my own. We were a little irked about that. We could have been home with Zach instead of sleeping in the hospital. (my OB is very into scheduling things so that nothing gets in the way of his sleep schedule). At that point they started my IV. That was terrible. The first try she couldn't get in far enough, she said she hit a valve, so she pulled it out. The next try she couldn't get it in right either. She then tried the right side and was able to get one in the top of my hand. Chris and I went to sleep. About 4 they came in and checked me and there was no change. They started pitocin. We slept a little more. Woke up about 6 or so and my mom was there. They were gradually increasing pitocin every half hour.

About 9 or 10am I looked at my hand with the IV and it was huge. Grossly huge. It looked like a rubber glove that someone blew up. So when the nurse came in I pointed it out to her and she looked a little freaked. They pulled the IV out and it bled pretty good so of course she pressed on it for a bit. When she pulled the gauze off, my hand looked like a volcano from where she was pressing it, that is how huge it was. We think that the needle from the IV poked through the vein and the pitocin and antibiotic was going straight into my hand. Fun! So we start the process of finding a vein in the other hand that we can re-start the IV in. Once she got that going, we had to start the pitocin back and square 1. And they said not to move my right hand a whole lot and keep it elevated and to be careful with my left hand so I didn't have a problem with the new IV. That made it pretty hard to try and move around in bed, that is for sure.

At about 11 or so, the nurse came in and said that my doctor wanted me to get the epidural to see if that would speed things up and make her drop into place. I had started having contractions, but they weren't too terrible, so I told them I wanted to wait and let things go naturally a little longer. About 1pm I decided to finally give in and get the epidural. I wasn't in excruciating pain yet, but the stronger they were getting, the more I was remembering Zach's birth (no drugs). So I get the wonderful epidural and couldn't have been happier. About 2pm the doctor came in and broke my water and said "ok, we are going to have this baby at 5... we all thought he was full of it (later to find out, he was right). At about 4:30pm, I could feel contractions a little more, so I gave myself that extra boost of drugs that they set up for you. It didn't help right away and I could feel that she had dropped into place so the nurse checked me and sure enough I was 10cm and ready to go. While I could feel my legs, they felt like I had 100lb weights tied to them, so my mom and Chris got into position and both grabbed one. The doctor got there and asked the nurse for the olive oil which I thought was weird. He wiped it on my who-ha and I completely accredit that as to why I did not have any tearing at all! After about 4-5 pushes, she was out at 5:12pm. It was such a wonderful birth experience.

About an hour after she was born, grandpa and Zach got there and he wasn't too sure about the whole thing. Chris, Buck and Zach went and got food (I hadn't eaten since 6pm the night before) We stayed there for 2 nights and came home Friday. Her big brother was so happy to have her home. She is such an amazing little girl and I am so in love with her!

Hannah Rose has arrived

Hannah Rose made her appearance on September 12, 2007 at 5:12 pm. She weighs in at 8 lbs. 6 oz and is 20 inches long. She is a beauty, if I say so myself.
We came home yesterday and are adjusting to life with our new addition. Zach is in love with his sister. When I have more time, I will post the birth story.

still pregnant....

Well, I am 39 weeks today. I am ready for her to get here. At this point with Zach, I was already having contractions. With her, nothing, but lots of pain.
We had a crazy thunder and lightening storm here about a week ago, followed by some showers. So, this has made for a miserable humid heat. It has been anywhere from 100-105 everyday for the past week since I have been on maternity leave. It is horrible. I am not looking forward to our electric bill after running the A/C as much as we have.

On the up side, Zach started back at preschool last Monday and is loving it and doing great. He is such a big boy and he makes me so proud. I am still not sure how he feels about his baby sister coming soon, so that remains to be seen. The other night we were cuddling on the couch and I said "I love you my little boy" and he looked up at me, shook his head No and said "baby". It was so cute but also broke my heart a little. I thought maybe it was a fluke so I said it again, and he had the same response. I told him he will always be my baby boy. And he will always be my first baby.

Here are some pictures from the first day of school... enjoy!

In front of our house:


Zach was looking out the window, waiting for the bus at Cindy's and he noticed me taking his picture:


All strapped in on the bus:

She Flipped!!!

I feel like a huge weight has been lifted! Now things can just happen naturally!!

Last week of work!!!

I have officially started my last week of work before going out on maternity leave. Lots to do, but very excited to have some time at home before our little girl gets here.
We have my 37 week appointment on Wednesday and we will talk about what we are going to do since she is still breech. We are going to talk about scheduling an external version, which scares me quite a bit, but if it will help our chances of a natural birth, I figure I have to go for it. Chris thinks that they day he tries to move her, will be the day I have her. Not sure if I agree with him or not. I am really set on having a September baby, so we'll see how far out he will let me schedule this thing.
We had the hospital tour yesterday. It was better than I expected, but it is no El Camino Hospital (where Zach was born), but it will do.
OK, back to work for me. I will update after my appointment on Wednesday.

I am leaving you all with a cheesin' picture of my little man.....

Baby and Zach Updates

I had my 33 week check up yesterday and things are looking good. She is still sitting breech (she has been that way for about 10 weeks or so). It is still a little early to start talking about what we want to do but in the next couple weeks we will talk about our options, like an external version (which I am scared to death of). I am just holding out hope that she will flip around here pretty soon! She has been very active lately and even kicking for daddy (she usually hides), she has even had the hiccups 3 times in the last week (I never felt them with Zach, so it was a little exciting).

Zach is doing good. I think he is missing school and the structure and stimulation he got there. He has been acting up a lot more than normal at daycare and at home. Not listening and saying "no" a lot, and almost swatting at us when he says no, as to say go away. I guess typical 3 year old stuff right? But not normal for him. He is usually the sweetest kid, with lots of hugs to give away. At daycare he has been pushing other kids, but it sounds like they push him too, so it is just not good all around. At first he was just pushing a girl that was younger than him and we were afraid that it was because we have been telling him that he will have a baby sister soon, and they tell him that at daycare too and sometimes used this little girl as an example (it is mostly boys there)... like "see, you will have a baby girl like her at home", but it seems he is doing it with his buddies too, so I am hopeful that it isn't the thought of a sister that is causing it. Some of the boys there have older brothers and I think they pick up bad habits that way too. Luckily Cindy has the same discipline style as us, so he gets timeouts there when he acts up.

Zach has recently discovered Hip Hop Harry and loves him. I personally would rather watch Barney but Zach asks for Harry by name and dances along with the kids. We have been DVR'ing episodes so he can get his fix. I hope he grows out of it fast.

We have been working on him wearing his glasses. He has had them for 4-5 weeks now and he still isn't crazy about the idea of them. When he was in school, he would wear them great for his teacher for a good 1 1/2 - 2 hours. (he only has to wear them 2-3 hours a day). Cindy usually gets him to wear them for about 1 hour a day, but they do so much outside play that it is hard to get too much time in. He is terrible for us when we try to put them on him.

We have a fun weekend coming up, so I will post more after that.

Here is a picture of Zach in his specs.

Week 26

Less than 14 weeks to go until our little girl is here. We had our third and final ultrasound yesterday. She is growing right on target and everything looks great which is a relief! This pregnancy has been so much different than with Zach. Good in some ways, bad in others. She moves so much more which I love, but I also don't feel as great as I did with Zach.

Right now she is over 2 lbs and sitting in the breech position, so let's hope she flips around here soon before she runs out of room.

Zach is somewhat understanding the concept. He says "sissy" and he rubs, kisses and knocks on my belly. I think he is going to be a great big brother.

The first picture of the newest Hiatt

Zachary is going to be a big brother!! Baby Hiatt is due September 11, 2007!!