Stroke... Part 1

A month ago Chris suffered a stroke. I am just now having the time to "talk" about it. It is, by far, the scariest thing I have lived through. I hope hearing our story will help others know the signs and trust their instincts if faced with a life and death health situation. I am so thankful I did. Here is our story...

It started like any other Monday. Alarm goes off. Take a shower. Get dressed. Pack my lunch and Zach's lunch. While packing Zach's lunch, make a mental note that we are out of juice boxes. Drop kids off at daycare. Commute in to work together. Work all day. Chris picks me up. We chat about our day on the drive home. Pick up the kids. Come home. Sort mail. Unpack Zach's backpack. Remember we are out of juice boxes. Say to Chris "Honey, check in the garage to see if we have another box of Capri Sun's and put them in the fridge." Chris comes in from the garage and says "we don't have anymore, want me to go to the store? We could use some sour cream for the chili anyway"? (we had made chili on Sunday to have for dinner on Monday and it came out a little spicy so we though sour cream might make it less spicy for the kids). I debated on him going since it was the last week of summer school and I could get by with other drinks for Zach's lunch. But, he decided to go. While he is gone, I start warming up bowls of chili. I call and chat with my mom for a few minutes.

Little did I know my life was about to change forever.

About 20 minutes later, the kids announce "Daddy's home!" and I continue what I am doing. I could see the driveway from the kitchen and noticed the car door was open for a few minutes, but figured that he was gathering his things, turning off his IPod, etc. He walks in carrying boxes of Capri Suns and a grocery bag. I look at his face and he just did not look right. His left eye looked very small, like he was squinting and the left side of his face seemed somewhat droopy. I asked him what was wrong and his response was "I don't know, my vision was just off, I need to lay down for a few minutes". My heart starts racing. That just did not seem like him but he has been mentioning that he needs to see the eye doctor lately to get a new prescription for his vision problems in his left eye that he has had for years.

He lays on the couch and I am drilling him with questions. He has a coy smile on his face, almost like he was mocking me for being concerned. I ask him to smile. Smile was fine, face reacts on both sides of the face. I ask him to stick out his tongue. Both sides of his tongue look like he has been clenching down on it and there are teeth marks running along both sides. Then our conversation goes like this:
Me: "I am calling 911"
Chris: "No you aren't, I am fine, just let me rest and you guys start eating dinner"
Me: "No Chris, I am calling 911"
Chris: "Stop, I am fine, you are not calling 911"
Me: "Fine, I am calling my mom to have her come over and watch the kids in case I need to take you to the hospital for some reason"
Chris: "Fine"

I call my mom and tell her that Chris isn't acting right. I don't know what is wrong but he just doesn't seem right and he is telling me not to worry or call 911. She says "Jennifer, call 911, I am on my way".

I start pacing. Trying to decide if I am overreacting (which I have been known to do), or if there was really something wrong. Then I hear him say "the coach emailed us about the protocol of the defense". I picked up the phone and called 911. He is still looking at me like I am nuts and should not be concerned but he just was not himself. I hang up with the 911 operator and within minutes I hear the sirens of the fire engines. I talk to the kids and let them know that there will be a lot going on in the house in a minute and they are coming to make sure daddy feels OK and they need to stay out of the way. I move all the toys and shoes and make a clear path from the front door to the couch where Chris is.

The firemen walk in a few minutes later and start hooking Chris up to machines and asking him questions. Zach, of course, is trying to help them. Hannah starts panicking and wants nothing but to be held. They ask Chris if he knows where he is and he knew our address perfect. About 5 minutes later, he got one of the numbers wrong. Most questions they asked him were basic and he answered fine. Things like his name, day of the week, his birth date. They asked me to ask him questions that only we would know. I asked him Zach's birthday and he knew the day and month but got the year way off. By this time the EMTs had shown up as well. The wonderful woman driver had pulled Zach to a little corner in the house and talked to him and kept him occupied. They prepare to bring the gurney in and are looking at the tight fit (our house is small). Chris says "No, I can walk out", which he did. He laid on the gurney which they had on the porch. They strap him in and start loading him in the ambulance and the kids say goodbye. They were very excited about the stickers the firemen had just given them. I am standing there in shock and a neighbor walks over and asks if I need anything. One of the firemen says to me "you need to get to the hospital as soon as possible because we have no idea if what he is saying is true." I turned to my neighbor (who I had met in passing but did not even know her name) and said "Can you sit with my kids? My mom should be here within 10 minutes" and I jumped in the front if the ambulance. On the way over I was pretty hysterical and the driver (who had just finished keeping Zach occupied) was trying to keep me engaged in conversation. She asked if I had someone to come to the hospital to sit with me. I hadn't even thought of that. All I was thinking was taking care of Chris and making sure the kids were taken care of. I call our friends Doug and Kelly and ask if they can keep the kids for the night so my mom can come up and be with me. We work out arrangements and they, once again, come through for us and come pick up the kids from my mom. As we are driving over to the hospital in the ambulance, I cant hear much of what is going on the back but I do hear them asking Chris if he did any drugs when he went to the store to which he answered "yes, I smoked some marijuana". I asked the EMTs in the back "What did he say?! He is totally full of it, he did not, there is no way". They all kind of look at me like I am nuts or lying to them to protect Chris. Then they ask him "What is your doctors name?" and he says "Dr McNerney". I said "No, that is our kids pediatrician". They started an IV and that was about all I knew that was happening on the ride over.

We get to the ambulance bay of the ER and they are unloading him. It was quite chaotic so once I knew where he was going to be, they took me to a little waiting room to wait for my mom and so that they could get things going. I waited for what seemed like an eternity and finally went back to his room. The ER doctor explained that they think he is having a stroke (which I already figured by that point) and that they are going to do a CT scan to be sure it isn't a brain bleed and at that point we will talk and I will need to make some choices. By this time, the ICU doctor had come down and was working closely with the ER doctor. Being that they suspected a stroke and he would be moved to the ICU they worked as a team.

By now, Chris had moved past the point of speaking coherently and he was completely talking gibberish. Some things that he said would make sense but it was like it wasn't even him talking. His expressions were nothing that I recognized. He could not squeeze his right hand. One of the doctors asked him to raise his right leg. He raised his right leg. The doctor asked him to raise his right arm. He raised his right leg. The doctor asked him again, to raise his right arm. And again, he raised his right leg. The doctor asked him again to raise his right arm and he looked at the doctor and said "What do you think I am doing?!". He had lost all movement in his right arm and hand. I asked him if he knew who I was and while I could tell that he recognized me, he could not tell me my name. I paced between his room and the hallway outside his room. It was hard for me to be near him because it scared me so much and with every minute that passed, he seemed to be falling further and further away from me.

They took him back for the CT scan while I waited, alone with my thoughts. I wondered how I was going to get through this. I was convinced that he would never be the same person. How would this change our family? Would he still love me the same? Is our marriage strong enough to get through the aftermath that this will cause? Will he survive this? Could I handle being a single parent?

The CT scan was over fairly quickly. The ER doctor confirmed what we all suspected. He was suffering a stroke. He told me that time was of the essence and I have a decision to make and I need to make it quickly. We stood in the ER room talking over Chris. Me to Chris' right and the doctor to Chris' left. Chris asleep between us. He explained that a stroke is a blood clot that has traveled to the brain and he went on to explain my options to me.

Option 1: They will administer a drug called tPA through his IV and it takes an hour. It is a drug that is used to break up the clot. Approximately a third of people who have this treatment will have no residual side effects from the stroke. Approximately two-thirds of people will have some sort of side effect. A speech problem or a limp or something of that sort. And then there is small percentage of people that will die within minutes of administering the tPA and another small percentage of people that will die within the hour. This treatment must be administered within 3 hours of the stroke starting. By this point, we were at about the 2 hour mark.

Option 2: There is a fairly new procedure where they insert a catheter into the brain and break up the clot that way. This allows a 6 hour window of time to administer the treatment. The hospital we were at do not do this procedure, nor does any hospital in our county. He would need to be air lifted to Santa Barbara. And he laid out all the risks associated with that procedure. This one did not really seem to be a feasible option. I am all for new medical breakthroughs, for other people. But if I am even going to consider it for me or my family I would need a lot of time to research and educate myself and obviously there was no time for that now.

Option 3: Do nothing.

My mom got there while they were explaining Option 2. I looked at her and told her to tell me what to do. I mean, I could tell that Option 1 was the typical protocol but those weren't really good odds to me. I wanted another choice. I wanted the choice that would make Chris him again. A third of a chance that he would be 100% again?!? That is not really good odds. But I didn't have much time to think about it and doing nothing didn't seem like an option so, I decided that tPA was going to be my choice. A choice I never wanted to be making. Never did I think at 32 I would be making a choice on how to save my husbands life.

We stood in the hallway talking to the doctors while they started the treatment. It is probably good I wasn't in there because I would be panicking. Panicking that we would be that statistic. That small percentage of people that die within minutes of it starting. The ICU doctor asked me if I had any other questions and I said "yes, but you cant give me those answers! You cant tell me whether or not my husband will be OK so no, I don't have any questions." and he just quietly put his head down. The nurse came out about 10 minutes in to it and said he was doing well. I felt like we passed one hurdle. He didn't die. Let's keep focusing on overcoming more hurdles.

We all went in to talk to him as he was awake now. That quickly, he was able to squeeze his hand again. He still could not lift his right arm. I asked him if he knew who I was. He said "Stop It". I said "No really honey, what is my name?". And he could not tell me. He said "you're my wife" and then said a few different names and finally thought hard about it and said "Jen". He still spoke a lot of gibberish. Lots of stories that did not make a lot of sense. Most were about soccer. One story seemed that he was thinking about work.

At this point, they took him up to the ICU and got him settled up there while the tPA treatment finished. My mom and I sat with him for a couple hours and talked with his doctor and nurse. He was extremely tired and told me to go home and sleep. I debated on staying in the ICU with him for the night but I knew that we had a long road ahead and I needed to get some rest. I had the direct number to the nurses station at the ICU so I was able to call and get updates on him through the night.

I went home to an empty house and sobbed myself to sleep. This could not possibly be happening.

To be continued...... Part 2

The hits just keep on coming....

We are all getting over a stomach virus. It started with the kids both puking last Wednesday night. It was super quick and they were both fine the next day. Come to find out that it spread through their daycare. 7 of the kids had it and a couple of the parents.

Saturday afternoon/evening I had *ahem* tummy issues. Thought I was going to puke, but had other things going on. I thought maybe it was just something I ate since I had a burrito from a gas station on Saturday for lunch. (Chapala in Morro Bay. I know everyone raves about them but still... It's a burrito. From a gas station. And since I had never eaten there before I thought it could be that).

Then Hannah puked all over me Sunday. A lot. While we had company dropping off a meal for us. I actually don't think she was sick. She had chugged 2 cups of cranberry juice which is very unlike her and I think it didn't sit well. She was feeling fine right after she got sick.

So last night Chris has the runs. Zach comes in this morning at 5:30 and tells me that he pooped his pants. (Yes I have a 6 year old not fully potty trained. Don't judge) He had diarrhea. I clean him up and have him go more in the bathroom. Chris gets out of bed, goes in the bathroom and does his business and then comes out and collapses on the floor on his stomach in the living room (I thought he was just laying down) but he is totally passed out and starts puking. Face down in it. So I am trying to lift his head up so he isn't breathing it in and he is just dead weight. Zach is trying to "help". Chris finally comes to and he gets cleaned up. It was horrible. Scared the crap outta me. Like having a stroke on me WASN'T ENOUGH?!?

A day at the lake

A couple weeks ago some friends of ours invited us to join them on the lake for a day. We had a fantastic time. Zach wasn't too sure about the boat at first but once he got over his fear he enjoyed it. Chris got up on a wake board which he hasn't done in several years. The kids had a blast swimming in the lake. Hannah amazed me. We got her a Puddle Jumper floatie. I was amazed at how well she could swim on her own with this thing. I just wish they had them in Zach's size because I have never seen any kind of floaty devise work so well! Hannah was not happy to have to get out of the water at the end of the day and cried when we left. That lasted all of 2 minutes until she fell asleep. After a long hot day we went home sunburned, tired and happy.

















"But I don't WANT TO LEAVE!!!!"


Aaaaaaand.... she's out...

Birthday Boy!!!

Zachary is 6. I can't believe it. The time has gone by way too fast. We celebrated in normal birthday fashion. With cake. And presents. And this year with some beach fun.

A busy June....

We have had a very busy month! The beginning of June brought a long overdue visit from Chris' folks. The kids had a great time spending time with them and getting to know them better. Here are some pictures from our visit.

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday

Easter fun

This year we colored eggs together, did an Easter egg hunt on our front lawn and enjoyed being together. Hope everyone had a wonderful Easter!

"can we start yet?!?"


"This is fun!"

A whirlwind month....

Our February has been kind of crazy. Where to start? ...

At the end of January I got a call from my mom that my grandmother was having chest pains and was really scared. My mom left work and drove up to her house, which is about 3 hours north of us, in the middle of the biggest storm we have had so far this year. The next day they went to see a cardiologist who immediately admitted her to the hospital. They performed all of the heart tests and determined that she needed her aortic valve replaced. After more testing they also discovered that one of her arteries was almost completely blocked and she would also need a bypass. They were able to take the vein from her mammary gland instead of her leg so that would help with the recovery. She had surgery Wednesday January 27th. We drove up on the 28th to stay a couple days so that I could go up and visit her at the hospital. She looked great. He color was good and was recovering nicely. On Friday (the 29th) my mom received a call that her neighbor was in the hospital. He was having some serious health issues and was given anywhere from 2 days to 2 weeks to live.

Don is much more than a neighbor. He is like a surrogate grandfather to us. My kids adore him and call him Papa Don. His family mostly lives out of state so he spends family dinners with us and has joined us for each holiday meal for the past several years. He is an amazing man with tons of interesting stories and life experiences that we are lucky to be able to hear about. Over the years he has given me and my family some beautiful gifts. Some old. Some new. All gifted to us with so much thought.

We drove home on Saturday. My mom was planning to stay with my grandmother longer but couldn't not say goodbye to this friend, who was so much more. She came home Sunday.

Sunday our plan was to prepare for the work week and in the afternoon, drive over and say our Goodbye's to Don. That morning Chris woke up with the stomach flu. He spent most of his day in bed or in the bathroom. By the afternoon he was feeling better so we went over and the kids and I went to see Don. Obviously the kids have no idea what is going on. They just knew he was sick and gave him hugs.

Don is still alive and kicking. He is weak but he has outlived the doctors time lines.

Monday we went to work. Chris was feeling better. After work he was really hungry and we had Mexican Food for dinner. (I know, terrible idea, but he said he wanted it). That night around 9 his stomach hurt pretty bad. He thought it was the food not sitting well and he went to bed. I went to bed not long after. Around 10:30 I woke up and he was laying next to me just trembling in pain. I told him I was calling someone to sit with the kids and we were going to the hospital. He said no. That he was fine. And that he would drive himself. I insisted and he agreed. I knew at that point it was bad. Our friend Doug came and sat with the kids. We got to the ER just before 11. Got him all triaged and put him took him back. They gave him some initial exams and started an IV to take some blood and start pain medicine. A little while later the doctor came in and examined him some more. Their assumption was appendicitis. They sent him back for a CT scan and their assumptions were confirmed. They told me they would be keeping him for the night and he would have surgery first thing in the morning. I left around 1:30am to go relieve our friend. When I got home I was surprised to see Doug and the kids wide awake. Not long after we left, Zach started throwing up everywhere. He got the stomach bug Chris had. Doug is such a saint, he caught puke, cleaned it up and even scrubbed puke off Zach's mattress. Doug went home and Zach continued to puke for another hour or so before he finally fell asleep. Hannah at this point was wide awake. I finally got her down around 4.

In the middle of this I called my mom. Probably around 3am. I felt terrible waking her and putting yet another thing on her, but I just needed to talk to someone. I felt totally alone in the middle of the night with the stench of puke and the sound of the washing machine and I just needed some sort of comfort. Someone to tell me it would be ok. I knew Zach wouldn't be able to go to school the next day and I would need someone to come sit with him so I could go up to the hospital to see Chris. My mom came in the morning around 7. I took Hannah to daycare and went up to the hospital.

I got there towards the tail end of the surgery so I didn't get to see him until he got out of recovery. He was doing really well and it was a relief not to see him in so much pain anymore. I sat with him for a couple hours and I was just feeling terrible. I didn't know if I was delirious from not sleeping the night before, or if I had gotten the stomach bug. I told him I would go home for a little bit and take a nap and be back in the afternoon. I went home and slept a couple hours. When I woke up, it hit me. I had the stomach flu too. It was horrible. By that time Zach had taken a long hard nap and eaten some food and was feeling much better. My mom packed him a bag and took him home with her so I had one less thing to worry about. I spent the afternoon resting and getting sick. Kelly (aka Doug's wife, Max & Molly's mom) offered to keep Hannah for the night so that I could recover. It was nice to not worry about anyone but myself. I was able to not worry about anyone else but myself for a few hours and I slept the sickness off. Needless to say, I didn't make it back up to visit Chris that day.

Wednesday morning I slowly started putting food and liquid back into my system and felt mostly better. Chris called to let me know he was getting discharged soon. My mom was bringing Zach back over so she offered to go with me to the hospital to get Chris. We took Zach to daycare and went up to the hospital. After some more nurses checking on him and giving him discharge orders, we were out of there. The rest of the day was relaxing and restful. Thursday I took the kids to daycare and Chris and I continued to rest at home. My mom spent the day at her house with the stomach flu.

By Friday, the spot on Hannah's bottom was no doubt an infection. I got her a doctor appointment in the morning and they said to just take her to the ER. She would need to be sedated and have it drained. Off to the ER we went. Luckily for us, we knew Hannah's nurse and she was phenomenal. Because Hannah had eaten that morning she had to wait a few hours before they could sedate her so I had to keep her entertained in the ER and outside. Finally they were able to do the procedure. They got her all monitored just in case she didn't do well with the sedation. It was such a scary thing to see her eyes open but she was just blank. They cut and drained the abscess and packed it. Then we had to wait awhile to make sure she came out of the sedation fine and was feeling ok before we took her home.

It was a long trying week, but we made it!

Wordless Wednesday