Frugal Halloween

A wonderfully talented friend made the kids costumes again this year. Pictures of those to come after Halloween. The one thing I needed for Hannah's costume was a hat for her Jessie costume. Online they sell for around $12-$15 plus shipping. And, they have been out of stock everywhere for months. A friend of mine told me she saw red cowboy hats at the Dollar Tree. I picked one up and tonight attempted to make it look like Jessie's with the white string weaved around the edge. It is not perfect and there are a couple differences from the "real Jessie". I am pretty happy with how it came out and the total cost was A DOLLAR!

Supplies:

• Red hat from Dollar Tree

• Black Sharpie to mark spots for holes

• Ruler that I found in the kids crayon box

• Hole punch

• Clean white shoe strings that Chris had (which can still be used since I did not cut them)

• Jessie doll for inspiration

Bullying

Never have I had such a fire in me to write about something that is on my mind yet my words do not seem to do my feelings justice. Please bear with me, I hope at the end of this to have a point, if not... enjoy the ride.

This morning I was trying to decide what to blog about. I haven't quite met my blog-a-day for the 31 for 21 and I really wanted to post something today. I came across a post with this link. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this article for many reasons. For one, we live in a small town and I have always had this dream in my head that if we stay in this town that Zach will be known, accepted and loved in our community. Two, the peer advocates is an awesome program that I just might be writing a letter to our school district about. 

Back to my first point. At Zach's latest IEP one of the biggest points I stressed, and that mattered most to me, was inclusion. Zach is in a special ed class at his school and having integration with the "regular" 1st grade class is something that is at the top of my priority list. I know a lot of parents who have kids with IEPs read this and might feel I am short changing him when it comes to the academic goals but of course that is not the case. I have such faith in Zach's IEP team that I knew that would not be something I needed to be worried about. They've got his back. When Zach meets goals before the dates we have set, they are the first ones to set new goals. Anyway, back to my point.... inclusion... last year it did not happen nearly as much as we'd hoped. A big reason for that is budget cuts and the Kindergarten teachers having close to 30 kids per teacher. I get that, but it doesn't mean I still wont push for more time for my kid. Not only do I think Zach learns a lot from other kids his age... I truly feel that Zach's social skills are going to get him further in life than any other skills he will learn. When Zach is older, I feel that him being able to be active in the community and having a lot of friends will take him very far. Being able to go out to dinner and display manners and be socially comfortable will help him live a fulfilled life. 

Now to talk about my second point. Peer advocates. This is something that should be happening at each and every school in America. From junior high through college. In my naive brain, I cant imagine it would take much, if any, funds to operate. Kids volunteer their time and they have meetings on lunch hours or as an elective class and a couple teachers or parents in the community give their time. Today has been called a day to prevent bullying. Millions of people (I included) wore purple today to support the teens who have recently taken their lives because of bullying. They were bullied because of their sexual preference. Because being a teenager isn't hard enough, now throw into that coming to grips with feelings that are perceived by some as wrong or bad. Now on top of that you are bullied. And not just playground teasing or snickers in the halls when you walk past the cool crowd going to your locker. No, times have changed. Now, even the ones who didn't have the nerve to make fun of you to your face have the anonymity of the Internet. They can cowardly sit behind a faceless computer screen and poke fun at every single thing that you feel self conscious about. And they can post it for your entire school and community to see or read.

I am in no way perfect. I am sure I was mean to someone from time to time. I was bullied for being the fat kid so I in turn bullied someone else to take the attention away from me and to try and make myself feel better. I like to think I was above that but I'm not. It is a vicious cycle. I do know that I was not a truly mean hearted person and I had a conscious so any teasing I dealt out was pretty tame.

Today I read something on Facebook that has bothered me all day and is the epitome of irony. Someone I love posted a reminder last night to wear purple to help raise awareness of bullying and in honor of those who committed suicide. Such a smart young girl to stand up for what she believes in. Right? She got several comments of support and then I read comments from her own flesh and blood, someone who should do nothing but love and support her, about how she got details wrong. Not only was her grammar picked apart, but her interpretation of the message. You could tell by the exchange of words that this is not an isolated incident. It pains me that so many people are disrespected by those who should be their biggest advocates. It is no surprise that people become depressed. I just hope the kind words that were said were taken to heart and she truly knows how much she is loved. And I hope that every other teenager whose family members put them down have someone to turn to for a positive influence.

If every student that recently committed suicide had an advocate in their school to stand up for them, or even just a supportive ear, maybe their family would not be grieving the way they are tonight. Suicide has got to be the hardest form of death to process. I know. My dad committed suicide 6 years ago and it is something I think about every day. It is something that I don't know you can ever fully have closure for. There are always the "what if" questions and the "could I have done something differently"  thoughts. I can only imagine how the parents of these young kids feel. It is senseless. It is unacceptable. 

Be the change that you want to see in the world. 

Unless you are a mean person, then just lock yourself in your house until you have a positive epiphany and please, please... don't pro create.

As heard....

This morning Zach was in his room picking out his clothes for school. He had been in there for a couple minutes so I went to make sure he wasnt pulling all the clothes out of his drawers. He was standing in front of his closet holding 2 shirts. One had a flying baseball on it and one had a stick figure playing drums with the saying "I Rock". He said "Mom... I need help choosing my shirt". I said "well, do you feel like a baseball player today, or a rock star?"... He smiled and said "baseball player"and put the other shirt away.

Love that kid!

Spreading the word... guest blog

I was approached by a friend to do a guest post on her blog in honor of Down Syndrome Awareness Month. She is an amazing writer and I love reading and following her blog Mandyland.

I am completely touched that she wanted to do this. Her and I are both members of our local moms group and while I feel like I "know" her well virtually, we had only met a small number of times. I feel honored and proud that by reading my posts during 31 for 21 she wanted to spread the word about DS as well. I feel like my mission to spread the word is being fulfilled!

Please click here to read our joint post.

I knew it would be ok....

My cousin Danielle is 9 days older than me. Growing up we had shared family birthday parties, "Jeni/Dani nights" and we always got the same birthday and Christmas gifts. We would try to open our gifts at the same time so that we could both be surprised by more than just what color it was. When we were teenagers we went down two very different paths and while we probably wouldn't have hung out in the same crowds if we went to school together, it didn't much matter. If I had to pick any person that I would like to be more like... it would be her. I will never forget when we were all getting ready for her wedding. All of us bridesmaids were stressing about our hair and makeup and getting jitters before the ceremony started. She was the one to calm us all down and to be the soothing presence in the room. I love her dearly.



After Zach was born and we were told he might have Down syndrome, I thought about my cousin Dani and I knew it would be ok.

15 months earlier Dani gave birth to her beautiful baby boy Gabriel Tomas. Gabe came into the world 16 weeks early. He spent as many weeks in the NICU fighting for his life. Nurses and doctors urged Dani to "let him go". As if that was possible. I cant speak for her but I am sure Dani knew that he was meant to live and that this was her child and that was all that mattered to her.

Family and friends surrounded them with love and prayer and eventually they were able to take their sweet baby boy home. Sure he has health problems and has endured hospital stays and surgeries but the number of lives this little boy has touched is immeasurable. I am so thankful that she did not "let him go" because when I was faced with the challenge of accepting Zachary into my life I feel like I channeled her strength and I just knew that it would be ok. I knew that Zach would be accepted and that there would never be a shortage of love for my boy.

I feel like her and I have an even deeper bond than we ever did before. That we get it. We know that we can bounce questions off each other about IEPs or how to possibly make coffee wake us up faster and everything in between. I know I can call her at 6am to ask about seizures and she knows she can send me text messages with pictures of her kids butt to ask if a spot looks like a staph infection. I wish there wasn't 300 miles between us and that we could spend more time together and our kids could create the memories that we have of family dinners and gathering at the grandparents house.

Dani and I have had the unofficial conversation (we really need to get that in writing) that if anything were to happen to Chris and I that her and her amazing husband Omar would raise our kids. I cannot imagine anyone else, with such genuine hearts, that would love and raise our kids the way we would want.

Dani & Omar with Zachary


The boys.... this was possibly their first meeting...


The boys were not happy to be laid down together... this was the best we could do...






I love you Nani Bit Bit!!

31 for 21 ... Single Dad Laughing

The other day I posted a link to a story on Facebook from Single Dad Laughing. I posted this entry that I had read with tears in my eyes. It is inspiring and a great reminder to anyone who spends time with children.

Today I am linking to him again for his beautiful, heartfelt words for his sister, who had Down syndrome. The way he talks about her is so touching and real.

Please take the time to click here and read it for yourself. I don't think you'll be disappointed.

Guest Blogging

I had my first opportunity to be a guest blogger today. I wrote a piece for Babes in Disneyland, a blog I follow written by a mom who is a former tour guide of Disneyland and still a So Cal local who now takes her kiddos there often.

The post was about traveling to Disneyland with a child with special needs. You can read the post here.I hope parents are able to take at least one helpful tip away that could help with future traveling. Anywhere.

I shared the link on Facebook and a friend commented "great tips for EVERYONE!". This comment just goes to show that Zach, and others like him, are more alike than different. I am sure there are lots of other tips and tricks I could have listed on the post but these were ones that came to mind that specifically worked on our trips and it is very true that these tips could apply to many kids. Of all abilities.

DS and my daughter

Before we even conceived our daughter I knew that she would be amazing. I knew that extra chromosome that her brother carries would affect her in such a positive way. While Hannah is only 3 and in the throws of being a strong willed drama queen I can already tell she is going to be a more compassionate, understanding young woman than I ever was. What some would call different is normal for her and that is something I wish all children were exposed to. I believe it would make for a much more understanding society. Maybe there would be less bullying in school and more acceptance. I watch Hannah at Zach's soccer games and I love that kids in wheelchairs, using walkers and walking with crutches don't phase her one bit. She doesn't even notice it. I also love that she understands Zach's speech better than we do. There are times I am not understanding what he is telling me and I ask him to repeat it and finally Hannah will turn to me and say "he said........". That warms my heart. I have no doubt that they will continue to be great friends and that she will likely be his biggest advocate.

Picture Day

Today is picture day at school for Zach. He insisted that he have "spiky hair". I didn't want to do it because that is really not him. We generally never spike his hair and I want him picture to look like... well him. Since last year he hated the whole process of pictures and ended up having teary eyes in his pictures, I decided to go along with it in hopes that he was happier with the picture process.

Alarming statistics

Down syndrome occurs in 1 in 733 LIVE births.

Approximately 90% of women who find out prenatally that their child has this extra chromosome terminates the pregnancy.

90%! That is crazy. Sometimes I feel like I am raising an endangered kind. For lack of a way better term. I feel that with the earlier prenatal screenings this percentage is going to continue to climb. I fear that the acceptance of individuals like my son will not get better over the years but in fact get worse, since there will be less and less people like him born. 

90%! So many lives are ended because they are deemed unworthy. Because doctors suggest 'taking care of the problem' rather than educating and because scared parents are worried about what society will think of something less than "perfect". 


I cannot begin to count the number of people that Zach has touched. People that have personally told me how much they love my son. People I don't know come up to us at the grocery store or when we are around town and tell us they have worked with Zach at school, or that their kid rides with Zach on the bus and Zach has made such a positive impact on their life that they feel compelled to come up to Chris and I and tell us about it.

They tell us just how much they love him. 

How sweet he is. 

How their typically rambunctious child is calmed by Zach. 

How Zach comforted their kid at school when their kid got hurt.

The list goes on. 

This does not sound like a soul that should not be here with us. This is not a life that is a burden on society. This child has taught things to more people than we will ever know. Sure they might not be things that you can record on a report card. Or that will help you ace a test. But what is more important is that he has taught people what true uncensored love is. And not to judge a book by the cover that society has created. 

I feel sorry for all of the people that don't have a Zachary in their life because the way he has enriched mine is unexplainable and is something I am so thankful for.