She Flipped!!!

I feel like a huge weight has been lifted! Now things can just happen naturally!!

Last week of work!!!

I have officially started my last week of work before going out on maternity leave. Lots to do, but very excited to have some time at home before our little girl gets here.
We have my 37 week appointment on Wednesday and we will talk about what we are going to do since she is still breech. We are going to talk about scheduling an external version, which scares me quite a bit, but if it will help our chances of a natural birth, I figure I have to go for it. Chris thinks that they day he tries to move her, will be the day I have her. Not sure if I agree with him or not. I am really set on having a September baby, so we'll see how far out he will let me schedule this thing.
We had the hospital tour yesterday. It was better than I expected, but it is no El Camino Hospital (where Zach was born), but it will do.
OK, back to work for me. I will update after my appointment on Wednesday.

I am leaving you all with a cheesin' picture of my little man.....

Never Say Never

This is a wonderful article that I wanted to share. Enjoy!!

http://grandparents.com/newsletter-archive/51-web.html



By Beverly Beckham

"The tooth is missing. It will never come in. Missing teeth are common among children with Down syndrome," the specialist told my daughter and son-in-law months ago.

He didn't cushion his words. He didn't say, "May not." He said never.

And then last week, there it was - a lower right lateral incisor, next to her lower right central incisor, exactly where it belongs.

"Well, what do you know, Lucy Rose," I said standing all 35 inches of her in front of a mirror. "Look at what you have - a brand new, shiny, white tooth!" I called my daughter at work. "I know," she said. "I saw it this morning. Can you believe it?"

I can now. Because it is here in front of me. But I thought never, too. Because the specialist said. And once again, I believed someone I shouldn't have, someone who doesn't know Lucy.

She will never walk.

He will never speak.

She will never go to college.

She will never have a full set of teeth.

When you have a child with special needs - with Down syndrome, with autism, with diabetes, with muscular dystrophy - with anything that's chronic and defies a cure - you hear "never" all the time.

Doctors say it. Strangers think it. And it rubs off.

It's what we thought - Lucy's mom and dad, grandparents, aunts, uncles - in the beginning after Lucy was born and doctors and nurses looked at her, and us, with a "There, but for the grace of God, go I" in their eyes. It's a great misstatement, this phrase, a huge spiritual falsehood because it means that God withholds his grace from some people and bestows it on others, who are then spared from tragedy.

This isn't true. God doesn't withhold grace. In fact it was through the grace of God that Lucy came to us.

Lucy, who is almost four now. Lucy with her new front tooth. Lucy who has surprised doctors and keeps surprising us.

She made a joke the other day. We were in the kitchen and the window was open and I said, "Listen to the birdie, LuLu," because something was crowing madly in the back yard. And Lucy, who has heard me tease, a million times, that a cow says oink and a pig says meow - (And then she corrects me, because she knows it's a game) - looked me straight in the eyes, shook her head and said and signed "Mouse."

Mouse. Not bird. See how clever I am, Lucy was saying.

She is clever. And resourceful. Two days ago, she was trying to tell me something about a rainbow and was signing and saying "bow" over and over. But I wasn't understanding. So I was guessing. "Cookie? Ball? Outside? Plane? I don't know, Lucy. I'm sorry. I'm not getting it."

And instead of screaming in frustration or giving up - she never gives up - she sat still for a moment. Then she hopped off the couch, walked over to the TV, opened the cabinet door, riffled through about a dozen DVDs, found the one with a rainbow on the front and handed it to me.

"Oh! Rainbow!" I yelled like a contestant on a game show who through no skill of her own wins first prize.

"Yes," Lucy said. Then she hugged me and forgave me my incompetence and smiled.

Pre-natal tests target children like Lucy and doctors apologize when children like Lucy are born. Lucy is a child the world would choose not to have. Foolish, foolish world.

She will never do all the things that typical kids do. That's what the experts say. What they fail to mention is all that she will do.

I read this on a website recently and copied and pasted it in my journal. "Common characteristics observed in [people with Down syndrome]: natural spontaneity, genuine warmth, penetrating clarity in relating to other people, gentleness, patience and tolerance, complete honesty, and the ability to engage in unfettered enjoyment of life's gifts."

I watch Lucy and her unfettered enjoyment of life's gifts. I watch and I learn from my first grandchild, who is life's gift to me.


. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .


Beverly Beckham is an award winning columnist who writes for the Boston Globe. But she is better known as Mimi to her three grandchildren, Lucy, Adam and Charlotte.

Daughtry

This year at the Mid State Fair, Chris Daughtry was on the concert line up, so Chris and I decided we were going to get tickets when they went on sale. We got them back in May and were pretty happy with the seats. We were about 35 rows from the stage. The show was this past Saturday night and it was a great concert! He is such a wonderful singer that I am really happy that we got a chance to see him live. It was a little shorter than I would have liked, but being that he only has 1 album, there was only so much he could do. He is definitely not a studio singer.

Here's a couple pictures from the show:

Baby and Zach Updates

I had my 33 week check up yesterday and things are looking good. She is still sitting breech (she has been that way for about 10 weeks or so). It is still a little early to start talking about what we want to do but in the next couple weeks we will talk about our options, like an external version (which I am scared to death of). I am just holding out hope that she will flip around here pretty soon! She has been very active lately and even kicking for daddy (she usually hides), she has even had the hiccups 3 times in the last week (I never felt them with Zach, so it was a little exciting).

Zach is doing good. I think he is missing school and the structure and stimulation he got there. He has been acting up a lot more than normal at daycare and at home. Not listening and saying "no" a lot, and almost swatting at us when he says no, as to say go away. I guess typical 3 year old stuff right? But not normal for him. He is usually the sweetest kid, with lots of hugs to give away. At daycare he has been pushing other kids, but it sounds like they push him too, so it is just not good all around. At first he was just pushing a girl that was younger than him and we were afraid that it was because we have been telling him that he will have a baby sister soon, and they tell him that at daycare too and sometimes used this little girl as an example (it is mostly boys there)... like "see, you will have a baby girl like her at home", but it seems he is doing it with his buddies too, so I am hopeful that it isn't the thought of a sister that is causing it. Some of the boys there have older brothers and I think they pick up bad habits that way too. Luckily Cindy has the same discipline style as us, so he gets timeouts there when he acts up.

Zach has recently discovered Hip Hop Harry and loves him. I personally would rather watch Barney but Zach asks for Harry by name and dances along with the kids. We have been DVR'ing episodes so he can get his fix. I hope he grows out of it fast.

We have been working on him wearing his glasses. He has had them for 4-5 weeks now and he still isn't crazy about the idea of them. When he was in school, he would wear them great for his teacher for a good 1 1/2 - 2 hours. (he only has to wear them 2-3 hours a day). Cindy usually gets him to wear them for about 1 hour a day, but they do so much outside play that it is hard to get too much time in. He is terrible for us when we try to put them on him.

We have a fun weekend coming up, so I will post more after that.

Here is a picture of Zach in his specs.

Water Fun!

We finally got Zach's cool little water pool/toy out that he got for his birthday last year (yes I know, bad mom) and he loved it. Him and daddy cooled off on Sunday in the freezing water. Zach loves to stand up and jump and land on his bottom. He did it so many times and he would say "watch this" with his cute little Zach accent.

Big Boy Bed!!

It has been almost 2 weeks that Zach has slept in his new bed every night and naptime. He is doing great. Even when he goes to bed and doesn't fall right to sleep, he just lays there and talks a little bit. He doesn't try to climb out, which I was sure he would! When we first got his bed, he wanted nothing to do with it when it came to sleeping. It was fun to climb on during the day, but at night, he wanted his crib. He has never tried to climb out of his crib and he would probably be content sleeping in there until he was 10, but with the baby coming, we needed to make the transition. We wanted to give him a good amount of time before she comes to be used to his bed and I couldn't be happier with how well he is doing!!

Great Article....

I especially love this line...

Do your part. Don't stare. Say hello. Be inclusive. And when you want to insult someone's intelligence, remember to use a different word.

http://blogs.usatoday.com/oped/2007/07/a-mothers-view-.html


A mother's view of a word that wounds: 'Retard'

By Theresa Howard

You are such a retard.

You've heard the expression. Sometimes it's preceded by an expletive, as in "you're such a f—-ing retard." Either way, with or without the curse word, it's a harsh statement. But one, it seems, that's become increasingly acceptable. So much so that in one recent week I kept track of how many times I heard it and who said it. I heard it daily — whether it was a colleague, a neighbor talking to his dog, an actor from a hit TV show during an interview with me, a top level advertising executive, young men playfully swapping insults or Tony Soprano to his son after a botched suicide attempt.

Last year, the r-word was in the title of a Two and a Half Men episode It's a word that, unlike "pimp" or the n-word, is always derogatory. For reasons that I can't understand, pimp has become synonymous with style. The n-word, for a handful of African-Americans, is a term of endearment — until someone outside the circle uses it. Then it becomes derogatory.
But no matter how or by whom the r-word is used, it's always in a negative context. You don't hear, "What a great idea, that's so retarded." You don't hear, "Awesome catch — what a retard move."

While some are advocating that the n-word be banished from America's lexicon, who is the voice for the 7.5 million Americans with intellectual disabilities who truly are mentally retarded? Who is defending their dignity while everyday folks — educated adults at that — take a term that clinically applies to the disabled and use it as an insult?

What's my fascination with the r-word? I take it very personally. And I'm not a person who is easily offended. I am, however, the mother of a 6-month-old daughter who was born with Down syndrome. Lydia Catherine is sweet. She's got a warm smile and very knowing blue eyes. She's got a subtle little dimple and a tiny tuft of strawberry blonde hair that swirls into one single swoop into the air.

When she looks at me, I feel like she can see all the fears, concerns, doubts and questions that swim around in my heart and my mind every day. Will she be smart enough to know when she hears people say the word "retard" that they are talking about her?

This is not new territory for me. I grew up the sibling of a Down syndrome sister. Catherine Anne was 41 when she passed away four years ago. She was born at a time when "mongolian idiot" was the operative term, and doctors suggested to my parents to leave her behind and she'd be taken care of. It really meant she would have been institutionalized. They didn't listen. Catherine lived with my parents until the day she died.

For as long as I can remember, I corrected people when they said the r-word. I flashed dirty looks to people who stared. I told parents to tell their child that it's not polite. Ever gregarious, Catherine would smile at strangers, many of whom would be so uncomfortable that they didn't know what to do. Even after Catherine passed away, I continued to correct people for a few years. Then I got tired. I no longer felt it was my battle.

Until Dec. 10, when Lydia was born. My journey has begun all over again, this time with me as the mother and my older daughter, Sofia, as the sibling. If I was protective of my sister, I am almost scared of how protective I will be for Lydia and her own sister. But as she grows up in a time when "retard" is a socially acceptable slur, professional organizations are trying to change the clinical term. Last November, the American Association on Mental Retardation changed its name to the American Association on Intellectual and Developmental Disabilities. The Special Olympics is advocating that "retarded" be dropped from the vernacular.

Fixing the terminology is only a start. The bigger issue is acceptance of people with disabilities.
Do your part. Don't stare. Say hello. Be inclusive. And when you want to insult someone's intelligence, remember to use a different word.

Theresa Howard is an advertising reporter for USA TODAY. She lives in Hoboken, N.J., with her husband, Peter Baracskai, and their two girls.

First Blog

I am finally getting this page up and going. I wish I would have started it 3 years ago! There has been a lot going on in our lives and I want to remember them all, as well as share them with our family and friends.

Zachary turned 3 on June 15th! He is such a wonderful boy and he fills our lives with more love than we ever knew possible. He is vibrant, energetic and strong willed. He loves to play in the water, play with balls, and has most recently become interested cars and trucks. He loves Elmo, Barney and Signing Time. We just got him a big boy bed that he is very excited about!

When Zach turned 3 the services through the state end (he was getting PT once a week and ST once a week in home) and from there his services get transferred to the school district. Conveniently the summer school program started on June 18th so there wasn't a big lapse of services. He is on week 2 of preschool. He is doing wonderful and he is loving it. Last week I talked to his teacher and she said he has caught on faster than most of the kids do. He is in a special program through the district, which is at the elementary school closest to our house. This is the school he will go to throughout elementary school. He is the only child with Down syndrome in his class at this time. Most of the kids have autism, ADD or other delays. Our goal is to have him fully mainstreamed once he hits kindergarten and beyond, but for now, this program fits his needs the best. They work on fine motor skills, speech and potty training. The teacher said that in the first couple days he learned the ropes. He raises his hand during circle time when needed, he follows directions and has become their favorite!! Him and a couple other boys have become a "pack" and hang out together at recess and play great together. They have recess with the state preschool which is on the same property and at recess, you can't tell who is in what class. It is nice. He rides the bus to and from school, to his daycare (Cindy). Yesterday after breakfast, Cindy got Zach some more food (which he always wants) and he climbed down from the table, got his backpack on, and waited at the window for the bus. I would say he likes school!

Zachary is also excited that he is going to be a big brother! 10 weeks to go and we will be adding to our family. We are all very excited.

This is the first of many blogs and we will use this as our spot to update and remember all things that happen along the bumpy road we call life.

Jennifer, Chris and Zachary
The Hiatt Family

Old Posts...

I have figured out how to put old blogs in here from another site I was using. :) Yay!